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What To Do When Your Foster Child Comes Out As Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender

I will admit that I do not believe that straight is the only 'right' sexuality. And I respect others who have different opinions. But I believe when a child comes out as being gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender- there's only one appropriate thing to do...

Celebrate: Yep, be so so so happy for them! Because love is a beautiful thing, and it comes in all shapes and forms. Let them know that they are absolteuly beautiful the way they are, and you are ready to help them come out to the rest of the world [when they are ready] as well.

Get them involved in support groups: There are support groups for all kinds of people, and attending them can open your child's eyes to the amazing SIMILAR people around them. It can give them a sense of self-worth and pride. So attend them- together- and let your child know who they are is a-okay.

Attend LGBT events: There are Pride events all across the country, and they are so so much fun! Not all are child-friendly, so contact the organizers ahead of time and ask if there is an age limit. Find one appropriate for your child and attend an event together.

Discuss Safe Sex Practices: If you're like me, you've tried to talk to your teen foster child about safe sex. But, I do typically do my 'sex talk' in a 'straight talk' manner (meaning I often don't even think to mention gay or lesbian sex). When the time is appropriate sit down with your child and re-discuss safe sex practices with an emphasis on the kinds of sex your child will, someday, be participating in. For both sexes, this includes oral sex. For boys, anal sex should be discussed. Yes, these 'unconventional' discussions can be a bit uncomfortable at first, but the knowledge will stick- and it could spare them a lot of risk someday.

Reiterate Dating Rules: In my home homosexual teens and straight teens have the same exact dating rules. But, when a child comes out as homosexual (or bisexual), I of course let them know I support them- but I also let them know that the same dating rules apply.


Talk to your case worker: Let your case worker know as soon as you can. This can open up opportunities for support groups and appropriate therapy. If your child is transgender, it can help develope a plan for their chosen lifestyle- where they can be who they are with the help of you and others. Telling the case worker, also lets them document this for future foster homes. If your child is moved out of your home, your case worker can make an effort to find another home fit for an LGBT child.



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